Friday, July 11, 2008

Stuff No One Cares About

So, just what are the best advancements that have taken place in the automobile world in the past 5 decades?

Likely, almost every American driver has considered this question a hundred times during moments of mental lax in the past year. So, to answer such a question with a bunch of general information that few care about, read on.

However, if you care about living long enough to get home from work, or care about the safety of your family and loved ones, you might want to read with more interest.

Advancements in automotive design can be broken into the following categories for organizational and comprehension purposes: safety, technology, efficiency, performance and utility.

Safety: Preston Tucker built some automobiles back in the 50's that were far advanced for their day. They had a form of safety glass, disc brakes, the engine in the rear of the car, and seat belts, among other safety and performance features. They even had headlights that would move in the direction of the steering wheel in a turn. Crazy, advanced stuff for that day. Currently, all cars have safety glass, all have disc brakes (far more efficient) at least in the front, a few have rear engines, and all have seat belts. But upon the platform Tucker built, auto makers have added air bags, improved seat belt design, lane departure warning systems, and all sorts of electronic vehicle control systems that tie together the brakes, shock absorbers, and transmission in a concerted effort to keep cars from skidding and sliding out of control. Some even have special sensors that keep your car away from other cars while using cruise control. Space age stuff.

Aside from some of these passive and active safety systems, auto makers are also continually working with chassis and body design to build in to any given car "crush zones" whereas, various types of steel are used in certain areas to help the car absorb an impact gradually (milliseconds are counted here) in a "bend, but don't break" philosophy of design. While many cars have more plastic than steel in their bodies, every weld, every panel, every cross beam has been tested for optimum crash testing effectiveness. Sure, tiny little Asian cars made out of tin cans still fold up like a paper plate when hit, but they do indeed have more impact survivability built in than the heaviest of land barges of the 50's.

It's not all the bells and feminine voiced reminders that make cars safer today. It's the big tail lights, the brighter head lights, the larger mirrors, the better tires, shocks, brakes, and steering that aid the average driver the most. To no one's surprise, driver skill and attentiveness is still far and away the greatest contributing factor to safety, but in today's autos, even a doofus has a better chance of stopping short of, or steering clear of, a potential disastrous situation.

Technology: What did we do before satellite navigation was installed in cars? Did people actually read maps and road signs? Well, people did read maps and signs, and probably were just as safe and attentive as those with fancy pants sat/nav systems. Even though this author sees infotainment technology advancements in cars as frivolous and unnecessary in most instances, technology has vastly improved auto performance, efficiency, and safety in many key areas.

Anti-lock brakes is a technology that first appeared on BMW motorcycles. There was a time when the pulsing sensations of ABS brakes almost made some makers to abandon the tech, but wisely, they held on and let the driving public adapt. Almost as much as tire advancement, anti-lock brakes has potentially saved millions of lives over the years.

Port-fuel injection technology took us from the long-held carburetor era to a more efficient, cleaner future once and for all. Again, some BMW's, early Corvettes, and a few other exotics tried to use a form of fuel injection in the early days, mimicking what was used on some air craft. Fuel injection is a precise delivery of fuel to each cylinder, allowing for better starts, less emissions, and more power. Fuel injection allowed 4 cylinder engines to make decent power, and big V8's to get decent mileage. Like ABS, this technology changed the automotive landscape.

Suspension technology has advanced not so much in all new design, but in improved design and materials. Cars used unequal control arms in the front suspension 4 decades ago, just like today, but vastly improved shock absorber technology, tire design advancement, and model specific spring design has taken every day cars today to where high-end race cars were in the 60's. That's no lie. The average "sport" sedan (think: a Chevrolet Impala SS) could out-handle and maybe outrun a 60's vintage Corvette without breaking a sweat. Thanks to CAD design and advanced testing, cars and trucks today are far more predictable and stable handlers than ever thought possible just 30 years ago. If you ever get the chance, drive a restored 60's era muscle car around the block, and you will have all the convincing you need.

Efficiency: This category has already been touched upon in the preceding text, but it is worth saying again that a typical minivan with a V6 motor and seating for 7 can pull down 22 mpg on the highway, fully loaded with people and gear. A 1970 station wagon, with a V8 motor and seating for 8, might pull down 12 mpg on the highway, fully loaded with people and gear. OK, so some models with high geared rear ends may hit 15 mpg on a good day. But you get the point. And that bland minivan could easily out-brake, out run, and out handle the station wagon with ease.
So, how do 5,000 + pound pick up trucks and SUV's net 18 mpg on the highway? How do little rice-burner cars accelerate like sports cars of just 10 years ago and still get 30 mpg? Chalk it up to ever-increasing efficiency in design and implementation. Cars are not really getting any lighter, what with all the increased sound deadening materials, heavy stereo equipment, and all that safety gear being lugged around. What they are getting are more efficient motors (computer controlled, with fuel injection, see above) and far more efficient and fuel friendly transmissions. From basically the 40's to the early 80's, almost all cars and trucks were equipped with either 3 speed automatic transmissions, or 4 speed manuals. For that 40 year span in time, few overdrive transmissions were ever offered in any model. This translated to less than ideal performance and mileage. Today, few cars or trucks have any fewer than 5 speeds, and many now have 6, in both auto and manuals. The point? More gears helps your engine move the car more efficiently, and overdrives (sometimes dual in one transmission) help reduce engine RPM's, which improved mileage.

CAFE (corporate average fuel efficiency) regulations have been placed at a ridiculous level for 2015, at 35 mpg. This means that any auto manufacturer must now produce a line of cars and trucks that average 35 mpg across the board. Translation? For every fuel sucker that is produced, you must build a few fuel sipper models that bring the average back to 35 mpg. Better mileage sounds great, unless you understand vehicle physics and dynamics. In order to achieve 35 mpg CAFE regulations, auto builders will have to make smaller, slower, de-contented cars that no one wants to drive, unless you are a tree hugging college professor.

Performance: Really quick and to the point here, the most notable improvements have been mentioned once again, in the areas of fuel injection, transmission technology and advancements, suspension improvements, and tire technology.

In 1988, the Chevy Corvette produced 245 horsepower and 345 pound feet of torque, which was considered considerable in that day. The 2008 base model Corvette produces 400 horsepower and 400 pound feet of torque. The difference? A bigger engine? No, the difference in displacement is less than 15 cubic inches. What is different is cylinder head design, intake manifold design, computer controls, distributorless ignitions, and other smaller factors that make the internal combustion engine far more efficient. As technology increases, so does power, at least potentially.

Maybe the one area where technology has increased performance is in tire design. For a span of almost 30 years (approximately the late 50's to the early 80's), tire technology inched forward, if that. Biased-ply tires were the staple, and they were hard, poor handling, and skinny. Some older vintage sports cars have been virtually transformed with nothing more than the addition of modern radial design tires. In the 60's, almost all muscle cars wore either a F70-14, or G60-15 tire of bias ply design. These tires offered poor traction, a poor ride, hydroplaned liked a greased rock, and handled like an old wagon. Suspension advancements were practically still born due to the dearth of tire advancements.

Today, almost any given vehicle can be fitted with a dizzying array of tire choices, from max performance summer, to all season, to winter-specific tires with various speed ratings. There has never been a time when so many tire choices were available in so many sizes. Want to improve the handling and braking performance of your Accord sedan? Do nothing more than change out your all season, touring tires with some max performance, "summer" (not intended for driving in snow) tires of the same size, and feel a marked difference immediately. Your SUV handling a little sloppy and tipsy? Change out those All Terrain doughnuts for some highway specific performance tires and realize a huge difference in cornering confidence. It really is that easy. The irony is that today, suspension technology cannot keep up with the growing tire technology.

Utility: Finally, like magazines, today, you can buy a vehicle for almost any need or lifestyle. Today's autos come with front wheel drive, all wheel drive, rear wheel drive (the way it all should be!) and 4 wheel drive. You can get a two door, four door, 5 door, and vans with 2 sliding doors and a power lift gate. Minivans come with seating from anything from 2 to 9, with options all in between. We have SUV's, crossovers, sport utes, sports cars, sporty cars, sports sedans, pickup trucks, compacts, even military-derived vehicles. The point is, there has never been a time when the consumer had so many choices in so many genres.

Auto makers really pay attention to interior packaging today, and most try to maximize the available space to the best of their ability. The real advancements in utility though, come in the aforementioned multiplex of specific applications and accessories. Do we really need cars with 9 cupholders? No, nor do we need more DVD players and wireless headphones, but we're getting 'em by the basketfull. This is the stuff auto makers tout to make sales, but what is really changing the auto landscape is the application-specific tailoring that every manufacturer is submitting to every year. Just like tires, there is a vehicle for almost every niche in human society. As this trend continues, fewer cars are going to be made for the "masses." Is this a good thing? Probably not, but it does perpetuate the American appetite for ego-centrism and accomodation.

With all the advancements, you still have a 1 in 64 chance of dying in a vehicle related accident. Sobering numbers. So, to be concise and pointed, if you want to enjoy the advancements longer than most, turn off the gadgets, leave off the drink, sit up straight, place both HANDS on the wheel, stop talking, and drive with precision. Airbags, ABS brakes, electronic stability controls, and improved bumpers will not fix being stupid and inattentive. Oh, if we as a nation would only require far more strict driving tests and updates for the public, punish with severity those who drink and drive, and raise the legal driving age by a few years. It is this authors humble opinion that those 3 advancements would do far more than all the others listed in this article combined.

Drive precise!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Representation

Does your car represent who you are?

For people who live in countries where driving a car is only a dream, or even where having much of a choice is not the case, such a question is absurd. But here in the land 'O plenty, we think about such things. To wit, we shall delve into this trite and meaningless discussion and take a break from the usual rantings that are ever so needed and instructive.

Face it America, you still drive like a maniac with no sense of intelligence and no hint of attention. In the whole world of auto driving, Americans rank dangerously close to rock bottom. But again, for this particular article, we set aside those obvious shortcomings for lighter fare.

OK, so does your ride (shoe, sled, vee-hickle, wheels, et al) represent your personality? Many greasy-haired auto dealers would have you believe that, but is it true?

First, take the following quiz. All answers are on a scale, from one to ten, with one being least, and ten being highest. Figure out the rest on your own.

1. On the 1 - 10 scale, how important is the color of the car to you?
2. On the scale, where would you rank the importance of the utility of the vehicle?
3. How important is the layout of the interior to you?
4. How important is the powertrain (engine, transmission, power output, etc.) to you?
5. Where on the scale is your preference for a 4 door vehicle?
6. Where on the scale is your preference for a 2 door vehicle?
7. Pretend the scale is a preference for a convertible; where does it fall on the scale?
8. How important is the horsepower output of the car to you?
9. How likely are you to purchase a vehicle that resembles those in your peer group?
10. How likely are you to purchase a vehicle that you think your friends and family will approve of?

Now, the scoring. If you tended to answer those questions with numbers ranging from 7 - 10, then you are very likely to think that your car does indeed reflect your personality.

If your numbers tended to fall into the 4 - 6 range, then you are not neutral, but rather, a more cautious buyer who would like to have a car that is more "edgy," but you let other factors invade your decision making process.

If your numbers fell into the 1 - 3 range, you are likely someone who has no idea what an oil change is, and does not care. You probably have multiple yellow and red lights lit on your dash all the time, and multiple scrapes and dents on your exterior panels. A car is just transportation, and not much else. Your purchase of a car is either decided by someone else, or you have been (or will be) stuck with a used piece of crap that is a rolling death trap. Of course, you are not held captive by the trappings of material possessions of the mechanical kind, but on the other hand, your tires are bald, your brakes are worn, and the sky is not yellow - your windows are. Because they've never been cleaned. Got it?!

Well, back to the quiz and other indicators of personality vs vehicle.

So let's assume that to some degree, you do think your vehicle represents something of your personality. If that is the case, peruse the following color chart and see if anything lines up.

If your car is ___________________, this may mean _______________

If your car is black, this may mean that you want to stand out, but you also want to be stealthy. Black is one of the most illogical colors for a car, cause it shows dirts and dings like crazy, and is hot as hades in the summer sun. But black paint, like black clothing, supposedly carries an air of reserved power. Guys with balding and a sagging sadle like black, as do men who are still single in their early 30's. For women, it's girls in high school driving "daddy's car" or those who are in their 40's, who still listen to Zeplin and wear sun glasses when it's cloudy on their way to the mall. Black is the color of BMW's and Harley Davidson's. Nuff said.

If your car is white, this may mean you like things classy and clean. White can look really good with certain accessories like chrome wheels and blacked out trim. It says "I can look good enough for the country club and still have a little rebel hidden within." For guys, white is only acceptable if the car has some other outstanding trait, like a powerful engine, or is on a sporty, expensive brand, or is set off with spoilers and such. For gals, white appeals to the young married crowd who want to be different, or to those who are older who just want a clean appearance, with no fuss. As a side note, white was the most popular color for the past 20 years, knocked off recently only by silver. White is a color often seen on Volkswagens and American luxo-barges of the late 70's.

If your car is silver, this may mean you want to exude an air of sophistication. Silver is the staple color of Mercedes Benz, and it can make almost any brand look a little more expensive. Silver is difficult to keep up over the long run (it fades like mad) unless cared for consistently. Like white, silver needs certain off-setting marks to really make it pop, i.e., it needs help. A nice silver Daewoo with plastic wheel covers still looks sad and cheap. For guys, silver may indicate a give the impression that you make more money than you really do. For gals, silver definetly is used to give the impression that you have more money than you do. It evokes the notion of diamonds and expensive jewlery, and dealers know this. A well dressed woman is a sap for a clean silver car. On the other hand, a dealer faced with a gruff woman weaing a sleeveless plaid shirt may just direct her to the closest pickup truck.

If your car is red, this may mean that you've either hit the supposed "mid-life" crisis (gender has no bearing on this) or, you're young, are spending Daddy's money, and are fully convinced that this red car will vault you to the top of your chosen peer society. Red is simple -- it is totally impracticle, very hard to maintain, and stands out so much, you have to accept it and just move on. The worst color for geeky gamers and men who no longer want anything to do with women, red demands that you wear those shades at all times, invest in a really nice toupee, and shine your patent leather shoes once a week. On the other hand, if you just can't get enough attention, and you really don't care if your personality is abrasive, then paint it all red. Even the tires. Red is the color of Ferrari's and Alpha Romeo's, and it looks good on them. Not so much on old Caddies.

If your car is green, this may mean that you are either eco-friendly (a tree huggin' nut) or someone who likes to buck the system in a more subtle way. Green is the color of Jaguar and Ford (in the early 90's) and can, on certain models such as the XKE or a mid 60's Corvette, pop like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. A nice metallic green has a pleasant depth to it that is easy on the eyes, and uncommon enough to draw attention. Men who want to appear sophisticated yet down to earth like green, provided it is not one of those horrid pastel greens we banished in the 70's. Women who value hard work and like to spend money in a way that makes sense like green. If either gender tends to gravitate towards green, they likely have good credit, own a large flat screen TV, and find ways to stand out from the crowd in a most quiet way.

If your car is blue, this may mean you like things of royalty: golf, horse racing, a good card game, solid investments, and something other than steak. Blue is definetly the color for Ford, sometimes Mazda, and rarely Ferrari. A dark blue can make any car or truck look richer and more flamboyant. Off set with liberal amounts of chrome and polished aluminum, a rich blue paint job carries the notion of upper crust ideals with working man's budget. Men who tend towards blue may be of a more quiet disposition but with an eye for art. Women who like blue probably have designer dinner ware instead of expensive furniture. Dark, rich, metallic blue hues connotate the deep blue sea, with all its mystery and forboding, along with its beauty and coolness. However, if either gender opines for pastel and light blues, you definetly fit into that group that does not know what an oil change is, and does not care. Please,......please.......do us all a favor and pass on the pastel blue and get white. Or beige.

Finally, if your car is yellow, this may mean that you are pretty much like the red car people, only with less intelligence or ability to see how annoying you really are. Yellow is reserved for those who demand constant attention. If you are a nagging little gnat that smacks gum, wears tank tops to movies, and has tats all over your arms, you need yellow. If you have a college degree, don't shop at Wal Mart, and wear expensive watches, sorry, but yellow is not your best choice. And to be fair, a hot canary yellow looks really GOOD on so many cars! Too bad it has to be avoided due to the rabble that give it a bad name.

Is there a corelation between the color of your car, and your personality? Well maybe, and maybe not, as it all depends upon just how important color was to you in your initial decision making process. In later installments, we will look at other vehicle factors and their supposed alignment with your personality.

As a side note, the colors beige, brown, pink, and orange were not mentioned, as they are too ugly and drab to waste time on. If you own a pink anything, sell it for whatever you can get and walk until you gain some sense and taste. Or move to San Francisco.